In the last post I said I’d comment about the second story we heard at the AA reunion a few weeks ago… however, I believe that this story is charged of VERY STRONG experiences that some of you may not be able to stand. So, for this reason I’ll not keep my promise and instead will give you a personal update of the last few weeks…
So a month ago I was pretty excited about this Leadership seminar with Mr. Erhard, and upon completion of the course I was commited with myself to make a real change in my life. At that time I was experiencing my “Leadership Crucible”, that is, I was just finishing the master, finding it extremely difficult to find a job overseas and at my home country, struggling emotionally after my ex decided to end a 8 year’s relationship, being ALMOST completely broke after spending most of my money for tuition fees and in an engagement ring, and being a bit confused about the my career objectives. For the first few weeks everything worked just find, that 0ne-week-leadership conditioning really stuck in my mind, and it affected every aspect of my life. At that moment I knew that within the “Realm of Possiblities” I could make anything happen in my professional life. Emotionally, however devasteded I was, I knew that it would be a matter of time until I’d find peace of mind and a valuable person to share my life. The possibilities seemed endless.
Almost two months have passed by, and I have began to loose control of it. I must say, it is EXTREMELY hard to keep the mood up and the positive attitude up and running. Despite every effort done in the professional side, opportunities seem limited still, perhaps because of current economic times. On the emotional, well, things at least are not that bad, decided to “complete” the cicle of that relationship and sent her the letter I wrote at the Rotterdam Seminar. I did not believe -in the beginning- that it could actually help. But it turns out that it does, so much so, that almost overnight I felt like if I had dropped an enormous baggage that I was carrying on my back. Can’t deny that sometimes doubts still come to mind -specially if you consider that I was about to propose-, but as quick as these thoughts come, the quicker I react not let myself be prey of them.
Just today that I was thinking about these facts, I read a book that mentions why we humans tend to fall back when making a change. The reason: Our Peer Group. Turns out that we humans LOVE comfort and dont really push ourselves to have a breakthrough that involves effort and discomfort. Sometimes however, we may get excited about something and fight for a while in order to accomplish our objectives -our change in this case- but when things get difficult – we get out of our confort zone- we rationalize and lie to ourselves saying that we were better off before. This is a critical point where the support of your peer group can make a difference, if it is comprised of people who also don’t like discomfort, they will support and encourage you to go back to your previous “way of being” for the fear of losing you. If your peer group is comprised of people for whom constant development is their life style and who are playing at the best level in their lifes, they will push you for good, until you have the breakthrough that you need in order to grow in certain aspect of your life.
I wish I could say that I surrounded myself with these kind of people… however that is not true… perhaps this fact contributes to experience this time lapse in my life as a really hard and stressful one. But as Werner also says, it is time to bear all of these difficulties and learn to be in control when being out of control…. lets see how it goes.. 🙂